Friday, October 15, 2010

So Confused

So I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant again with baby number 2 that I took 3 test from 2 different brands and all came out positive!! I surprised Alan with little M wearing a shirt I made that says "BIG BRO" for when he came home from a work trip. I wanted to wait to tell everybody after the 3 month mark so I new we were in the clear. But I only made it to 2 1/2 months. I started spotting on tuesday but it never stopped. We also found that little M had a rather large bump on his cute little butt cheek with a rash all on his front. We went to the doc and found that little M has an abscess the size of a quarter and if it doesn't go down by today he has to get it lanced which means to cut it open and drain it because it is so far into the tissue. On top of that he got 4 shots for his year check up. Needless to say it hasn't gone down with the meds he is on it has only gotten bigger.
The doc took an ultra sound and nothing was in my uterus. We are at a loss and so confused. Nothing really makes any since. Here are some scenarios of what could or is happening.

1) I lost the baby but never felt the pain of it
2) I never had one in the first place
3) I have another tubal pregnancy
4) I have a really early pregnancy
5) I lost the baby but also have a tubal pregnancy

1) don't you feel pain when you miscarry? 2) I don't see how 3 tests and almost 3 months of no aunt flow could be wrong. 3) If I had another tubal pregnancy I would be in so much pain and probably dead by now having a baby that big in a tube (last time it ruptured my tube at 8 weeks and I had about a day left to live with how much I bleed internally). 4) Prego tests dont even show up until your at least a month along and I had taken it 3-4 weeks ago so no early pregnancy for me. Number 5 is what we and the doc think what happened to me my last tubal/ectopic pregnancy. I bleed like a period and about a week and half later I was in surgery to remove the pregnancy in my tube.
They took my blood to check my HCG levels and scheduled for another visit at the hospital for later today so I can get another ultra sound to see blood flow and check my tubes to see if there is anything in them and take my blood again to check if the HCG level has changed.
If I do have a tubal pregnancy that means surgery. If little M's abscess doesn't go down it also means surgery. Ugggg I would just really love a normal pregnancy and delivery. No complications, no confusion. But most of you know so far that hasn't worked for me. But that's okay. This is my test in life. I know I have at least 2 babies in Heaven working hard and got saved from this world. What a blessing to know that I could give them a body so they could finish their work in Heaven. I'm a lucky girl.

8 comments:

Becca said...

Oh Sweetie, I am so sorry. I know lots of people that have miscarriages early on aren't even aware that they had one. I may have had a miscarriage between Ethan and Myron. I thought I was about a month along when a week late I got hit by either a miscarriage or super heavy and crampy period. I hope if it was a miscarriage that it was something similar to that and not also a tubal. I will keep you in my prayers.

Budding Home said...

I'm sorry you are having to go through this! Baby trials are the worst, and I can't imagine finding out I was pregnant just to go in to the doctor to be told there was no baby there. Hopefully it wasn't or isn't a tubal pregnancy. I'll keep you guys in our thoughts and prayers.

The Hone's said...

I am so sorry to hear that. I have had 2 ectopics and they are terrible I would have rather died than be in that pain. I have also had a miscariage and a pregnancy that was a blighted ovum. Crazy sounds like we have a lot in common. There isnt any words that will make you feel better but I know what your going through if you need anything let me know.

LaCee Clayburn said...

What's wrong with our age group? It's like an epidemic. So sorry you've had to go through so much! I've never miscarried, or anything else, just never could get preggo and never knew why, the Dr. had no explanation, Roo was without a doubt a surprise and a miracle! I hope everything is OK!

Unknown said...

I am so sorry too! I will keep you guys in my prayers! I love you and your sweet family!

Misty said...

Aleca, I am so sorry. Thanks for sharing your faith through this post. You are incredibly strong, girlie. We'll keep praying for you and your cute little family.

Wendi said...

My little girl got what they called a boil on her butt too. They lanced it and took samples and told us that it was MRSA. It made me cry when they did it. they have to strap them down and they cry and cry. It's so sad. I'm so sorry to hear about your pregnancy. My prayers are with you. All the best.

The 3 of Us said...

My heart goes out to you. I hope that all goes well with your little guy!! You are in my thoughts and prayers with all you are going through lately!!!